Conversation Vortex

I went to Great Harvest yesterday expecting a great harvest of grains and deliciousness, but in addition to that, I reaped a terrible harvest of unsolicited, mind-numbing conversation.

I went in, and the lovely GH staff offered me a slice of bread, as usual. Well, they had a pumpkin quick bread AND cornbread, so I HAD to get one of each. Anyone who has been to GH knows that they aren't shy about doling out the goods; I had quite a bit of bread to eat. So, I'm eating right along checking out the cookie selection all the while (the real reason I came) and wishing that this branch had the good practice of making oatmeal raisin (which they don't, on any day!!). Sometime during this feast, a man came rolling in (in one of those scooter things). He appeared to be a normal, sane individual.
Well, I don't even remember how it started (because my brain now has a mushy sludge part where the memory of this time would normally be), but we started chatting.
So this guy is talking and talking and talking and .... I can't break free! I don't know why. The conversation started off as somewhat normal, progressed into less normal but more interesting, then degressed into off-the-wall-nuts-uninteresting and never-ending. At first, it was just small talk.

--Oh yeah, it all started because the bread guy asked where I was from ("At MY Great Harvest they make oatmean raisin cookies.") and I said Michigan, and Scooter chimed in that he was from Kalamazoo. So that's how it all began.--

Then he started talking about healthy natural weirdo foods. The kind of stuff that I'm into. He even had a portion of his disgusting juice drink on hand for show and tell. (Disgusting juice drinks are a requirement of these diets.) So, he's preaching to me about vegetables and his personal scale of healthfulness, which is measured on a Cartesian scale, apparently. How We don't eat healthily and We all need to get back to the basics, blah blah stuff I know. He then goes on to tell me the details of his personal food preparation and timetables of consumption (including a morning dose of the juice while on the can!).
By this time, I'm wishing that someone from the GH staff will notice my troubles and somehow rescue me from peril.
After some mind-obliterating digressions, he goes on to tell me that the reason he eats so healthily is so that he will live long enough that the technology will be developed to have his conciousness transferred into a computer so that it can one day be put into a robot (and therefore realize immortality). He predicts that will be possible in fifteen years.
I was about to knock myself over the head in hopes of unconciousness, when he let me escape. I think this whole thing took about thirty minutes.

I hope this guy doesn't become immortal.