Oh poop!

This morning while I was running, a bird pooped on my head. Thankfully, it was in my hair, which I would never normally say, but it was dangerously close to being right in my face. Yeck. Seeing as how I was running, I had some time to reflect on the event. I thought back and determined that I had only been bird-pooped-on once before in my life. In that instance, I was walking across the Mackinac Bridge, and the sky was teeming with feces-loaded seagulls. In a way, I suppose I'm lucky I was only pooped on once that day, but it didn't seem that way at the time. In fact, it seems as unlucky as bird poop ever does, if not more unlucky. Why? Because I was walking, I was swinging my arms, as most everyone does. As my arm reached the apex of its forward motion the poop landed right on the tip of my thumb, the farthest point away from my torso. It was so "ideal" it should have been a question in my high school physics class:

4) A person is walking across a perfectly straight bridge. She is swinging her arms such that the tip of her thumb reaches the apex of the swing x inches in front of her body with a frequency of y swings per minute. Flying above the bridge in the opposite direction is a seagull looking for a place to relieve himself. He will poop in exactly 4 minutes. The girl and the seagull start out 500 feet away from each other and both are traveling at a speed of w feet/minute. Will the bird poop on the girl?

At the time of the strike on the bridge, I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Really! I stared dumbfounded at my now white-coated tumb tip wondering how it came to be. I didn't even figure it out for myself. I think it was my mom who commented that I had been hit by a bomb dropped by the Seagull Air Force. To top off the whole event, I was stuck on the bridge with no way to wash my hands for however many miles more there were to go. I have liked seagulls even less than I did before from that moment on.

This morning, as I thought more about the bridge incident, I realized something incredible. There is only one day each year that people are allowed to walk across the Mackinac Bridge: Labor Day. Today is labor day, too!!!!! I can't remember exactly when I walked the bridge, but it is not out of the question that it was ten years ago today. The only logical conclusion to draw from this is that I am doomed to be pooped on every ten Labor Days for the rest of MY days!

The bright side: At least they don't poop on me annually.